Rehab
by Team Damon
Summary: The love that draws Damon and Elena together is also the love that destroys them. Songfic


**A/N: Okay, I apologize in advance for this story. In my defense I couldn't sleep AT ALL last night and this was what resulted. Basically, music pretty much inspires all my stories, and "Rehab" by Rihanna inspired this one. I wanted to write a story totally devoid of fluff and happiness and basically just envision what would happen if absolutely everything went wrong and was totally horrible. Thus, this story. It's depressing and I quite hate the story, but I had to write it. Ugh! Darn song. Hope you guys don't hate it as much. Also, it could be based on the books or the TV series, seeings as it's as AU as it gets. Enjoy. Or don't. :P**

Elena sat on the edge of the unfamiliar bed, palms clenched around her knees, as she stared at her suitcases littering the alien bedroom floor. She couldn't believe she was here, away from her home, permanently. This wasn't supposed to be her life. This was the life of a statistic, a failure, not Elena Gilbert.

She flinched as the familiar feeling of shame crept up on her. It hadn't been a familiar feeling for very long. Only maybe a year or so. It was unbelievable how quickly and completely everything had fallen apart. She was going to live in Bonnie's spare bedroom indefinitely. Bonnie was the only friend she had left. She had alienated everyone else with her choices, which she could see now were so horribly wrong.

_How on earth did I get here_? She asked herself.

_Baby, baby_

_When we first met_

_I never felt something so strong_

_You were like my lover_

_And my best friend_

_All wrapped into one_

_With a ribbon on it_

It had been so easy at first. He was the obvious choice. He brought her to life, arose passions and fires inside of her that had lay dormant before. He consumed her completely, engulfed her, claimed her, and she would have followed him anywhere without a second thought. He was like breathing for the first time, waking up and truly living for the first time.

He was perfection, wrapped up in darkness and ancient struggles that Elena found fascinating and enticing until she got caught in the middle of them.

Nobody was surprised when they had decided to get married. Most were happy for them, even Stefan, who after losing Elena to him thought that maybe she would be his brother's salvation after all. The only person who couldn't truly celebrate with them was Bonnie.

Bonnie had grown into a powerful little witch, and her early girlish crush on him had dissipated when she came into her powers. She saw things, felt things, about him that she couldn't ignore. They started out subtle, small enough to hide from Elena, until their wedding day. She had gone into a trance while helping Elena get dressed and saw what his secrets were. She saw what was hidden behind the stone, what he still hadn't revealed to Elena. And Elena had listened in horror.

But she loved him. He was everything, he was her eternity. Nothing was too big or too bad to work through. So the day had gone on as planned. And nobody but Elena had noticed how much it took for her maid of honor to not burn the church down with him inside of it.

_And all of a sudden_

_you went and left_

_I didn't know how to follow_

Life was bliss after the wedding. They honeymooned in Italy and fell in love with each other all over again. They bought houses in Fell's Church and Florence, and started to build their lives.

Things started to change after the first year. His and Bonnie's relationship eroded into open hostility, and he forced Elena to choose between them. She chose her husband, though it broke her heart. She knew Bonnie would have never made her choose. He was selfish. She could see that now. Suddenly his possessiveness wasn't charming or flattering anymore. It was destructive and hurtful.

Then he started wanting them to spend most of their time in Florence. She didn't. She had a life, a family, and friends in Fell's Church. Florence was nice but it wasn't home. They had nothing but a fancy house there.

When she refused to spend most of their time in Florence, he gradually started isolating her. Bonnie had been first. Next was Matt. Then Meredith. Then his own brother, Stefan.

_It's like a shock_

_That spun me around_

_And now my heart's dead_

_I feel so empty and hollow_

He thought he had isolated her from Bonnie, but they never truly lost contact.

Bonnie warned her that it was starting, that it would only get worse from here. Elena could see his faults now, she was past the newlywed daze. But she was confident they could get through anything.

He treated her better than a queen. Their romance was one for the ages, they both told one another. Their passion burned like a fiery sun, and it was almost okay for Elena to be cut off from her friends, because he was enough. He was more than enough.

Neither of them anticipated what would result from their passion, until one day, Elena wasn't feeling well. When her supposed flu didn't pass, she went to the doctor for a checkup. She returned home with news that she didn't think was possible.

Elena was pregnant. By a vampire. Which was supposed to be impossible.

They both wanted the baby. But they didn't know if she could live through carrying a half vampire child to term. But they decided to try. Bonnie had warned Elena to have an abortion, that she had watched the child kill her in childbirth in a vision. But Elena wouldn't listen, nor would he. This was their child, and they were going to have their child.

But halfway through the pregnancy, the growing baby's newly developed fangs perforated Elena's uterus and caused it to rupture while she was sleeping. They couldn't go to a hospital for obvious reasons, so he had summoned the previously banished Stefan and Alaric to come to their aid. It was no use. The baby wasn't old enough to live outside of the womb yet, and Elena was bleeding out.

Their baby - a boy - died instantly, and Elena was fed huge amounts of vampire blood while he and Stefan attempted to help her heal without turning her.

It worked, and Elena stayed human. But she would never be the same.

_And I'll never give myself to another_

_The way I gave it to you_

_Don't even recognize_

_The ways you hurt me_

_Do you?_

_It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back_

_And you're the one to blame_

Elena needed him now more than ever, but he retreated into darkness. He left her crying at home while he went out and fed more heavily than any vampire needed to. When he _was _home, he drank himself into a numb stupor. Elena had begun to suspect that he was killing again. He had vowed he would never kill an innocent human again as a condition of marriage. But he was turning into a different person. He had reverted back to the person he was when they had first met, only worse.

But, Elena thought, she might have been able to deal with all of that, if he had just once cradled her in his arms and told her everything was going to be okay. But he never did.

Stefan was there for her when _he _wasn't. He consoled her, comforted her, made her laugh to distract her from the pain. Stefan was her best friend during this time, but nothing more. But _he_ became unbearably jealous and flew into a rage when he saw his little brother embracing his wife. He tried to kill Stefan. Made Elena watch as he drove the stake into his brother's chest. Didn't care when she sobbed and screamed, when she begged him to stop. If Alaric hadn't showed up when he did, Stefan would have been dead. It was too late for Elena, however. Part of her had already died that night.

_And now I feel like, oh_

_You're the reason_

_Why I'm thinkingI don't wanna smoke on_

_These cigarettes no more_

_I guess that's what I get_

_For wishful thinking_

_Should've never let you enter my door_

_Next time you wanna go on and leave_

_I should just let you go on and do it_

_Cause now I'm using like I bleed_

_It's like I checked into rehab_

_Baby you're my disease_

Next thing Elena knew, she had picked up smoking. She also had begun to nurse a bit of alcoholism herself. He began disappearing for weeks at a time. She would have no idea where he would go. When he would return he would have jewelry, fancy clothing, all sorts of things he hoped would make his wife happy. He would take her away to secluded, romantic islands, where they would rekindle their passion. What he didn't seem to understand was that passion was never the problem.

He started begging her to let him turn her. He was frozen forever at twenty, and she was now twenty five. But she had no interest in becoming like him. She didn't want to be a killer. She may not have been sure who she was anymore, but _vampire _was not supposed to be a part of that identity, she knew that much.

The beautiful, gentle, trustworthy man she had married had become a shell of the man he once was. He had sworn to her back then that she was his reason for living, that all he needed was her, and his life would be full and complete. He said he would never need anyone or anything else, but she could see now that that was changing. She wasn't enough to make him happy. She didn't know what _would _anymore. He was driven by jealousy and anger, not love.

And despite it all, she loved him. Desperately.

She even gave in and let him turn her, as a last ditch effort to salvage what they had.

_Ain't it crazy_

_When you're loveswept_

_You'll do anything_

_For the one you love_

_'Cause anytime_

_That you needed me_

_I'd be there_

_It's like_

_You were my favorite drug_

Bonnie had been horrified, of course. Elena knew she would be. But she just had to _try _to understand… Elena was doing this to save her marriage and to save her husband from self-destruction. She didn't know if it would work. She just knew that she had to try.

They had made love that night, and the air was filled with more passion and intensity than ever before. He drank of her blood and then she drank of his, drinking too much but knowing that he had to be sure it was enough. He had kissed her lips softly and they had whispered their undying love to one another before he snapped her neck and killed her. The next morning she awoke in transition, and he took her hunting.

_You have to kill to finish the transition_, he reminded her. This was the part Elena didn't know if she could handle. It made her question whether eternity was worth killing a fellow innocent human being. But the fact that it was a question and not an obvious truth was a sad testament to how he had so slowly destroyed her.

At least he and Stefan had been turned against their will, she thought. Elena _chose _this. She _chose _to be a killer.

The blood of her first kill felt smooth and unbelievably sweet as it trickled down her throat, but she could feel her soul, or whatever was left of it, slipping away with each individual, succulent drop of blood. She was losing herself.

_You don't have to kill again, _he consoled her when she collapsed after draining the body. _Not if you don't want to. _

It was too late. What was the difference between one or one hundred kills? Either way, you are still a killer.

_The only problem is_

_That you was using me_

_In a different way_

_That I was using you_

_But now that I know_

_That it's not meant to beYou gotta go_

_I gotta wean myself off of you_

When she turned, his bloodlust grew even stronger. He dreamed sick, grandiose things for them. He wanted to take her away, to travel the world with her by his side, for them to be some sort of vampiric royalty. He assured her that once she embraced the lifestyle that things would change, that she would adapt, and that they would be inseparable. But she grew more and more disgusted with herself every day. She couldn't believe that she had chosen to die and become this monster, for _him_. She loved him, yes, and she had never ever considered him or his brother a monster. But seeing herself in this form, knowing there was no going back, knowing she had done this for the wrong reasons, made Elena despise herself, and despise him for bringing her to this point.

There was only one thing that she could do. She had to leave.

Elena knew it would destroy him, and it would probably destroy her as well. But staying would only prolong what was at this point, not a relationship but instead a slow suicide. They had begun as the perfect couple, fitting together like two puzzle pieces, drawn together and unable to pull away. But the passion and intensity that had interwoven their lives and fates had ended up destroying both of them. Elena could either stay and watch as they continued to implode, or she could leave and try to save what was left of herself.

She chose the latter. And it nearly killed her to walk away.

She left a letter. She told him how much she loved him and always would. And she also told him that he was killing her, and her him.

_It's like I checked into rehab_

_Baby you're my disease_

Elena knew he wouldn't give her up without a fight. The only place that she could go where he couldn't get to her would be Bonnie's. He would never be invited in. And Bonnie, more than anyone, could help Elena recover the parts of herself that she had watched disappear over the last few years. If there was anything to recover. They may have been rival creatures - witch and vampire - but they were kindred spirits, and Elena knew she would always have a refuge with Bonnie.

She didn't know what the future held. She didn't know _who _the future held. Maybe, by some miracle, they would find their way back to one another. Someday. Maybe. But for now, Elena had to focus on detoxing, cleansing her system of his poison, and coming to terms with the vampire she was today. She had to heal before she could ever give of herself to anybody. And there was a _lot _that needed to heal.

_It's like I checked into rehab_

_Baby you're my disease_

She was determined to heal. She would find her way back to the girl she was before her world came crashing down around her. That girl was still inside of her, somewhere, buried deep amidst the pain and hurt that he had both knowingly and unknowingly inflicted.

Yes, Elena vowed, she would find life after Damon Salvatore.


End file.
